I don’t like games. I hate that you’re required to play them when it comes to expressing yourself with the person you hold most dear.. I’m sorry, but what’s the point in pretending you don’t care as much as you do in order for other people to have peace of mind? It makes no sense and I don’t think it ever will. You come here and you act like nothing’s changed, yet actions you take in your life back home show differently in the eyes of others. Are you faking with me or are you trying to make them feel okay with a situation they would choose to play out differently?? I hate that I’m being forced to pretend when all I want to do is continue to better our lives and make them the incredible rides I know they could and should be.. It hurts, but at the same time I’m the happiest I ever could be.. I really hope these charades end soon because if it goes on too much longer, I don’t know how long I can last. I could play this game forever, but if that’s the person you’re going to be, then I don’t think it’s worth it.. Think about it, love. Is it worth it to you? Because when you’re with me it really doesn’t seem like the fronts holding up too well. You LOVE me. Why pretend that you don’t so your mother can rest easily at night?? Fix this. If you don’t, you’re going to lose me.
(The stupid thing about this whole entry is that he doesn’t read it. He’s asleep in my bed and can’t read my thoughts and sure as hell doesn’t indulge in this whole blogging world. I suppose a vent is what we all need, though…. bleh.)
On the other hand, we’re off to have a beautiful, fun-filled weekend.
